"If I were Satan and wanted to destroy a society, I think I would stage a
full-blown blitz on women. I would keep them so distraught and
distracted that they would never find the calming strength and serenity
for which their sex has always been known.
“The
Feminists did not look … far [enough] ahead; they laid down no rules of
conduct. For them it was enough to demand the privileges. … And [so]
woman today is still searching. We are aware of our hunger and needs,
but still ignorant of what will satisfy them. With our garnered free
time, we are more apt to drain our creative springs than to refill them.
With our pitchers [in hand] we attempt … to water a field, [instead of]
a garden. We throw ourselves indiscriminately into the committees and
causes. Not knowing how to feed the spirit, we try to muffle its demands
in distractions. Instead of stilling the center, the axis of the wheel,
we add more centrifugal activities to our lives—which tend to throw us
[yet more] off balance.
“Mechanically we have gained, in the last generation, but spiritually we have … lost.”
Elder Christofferson gave a talk in conference a while ago where he told the story of the currant bush being cut down. It really sunk in my heart and made me think about what the Lord may be making of me. I have a really hard time getting "cut down" and given trials, or having my bad habits brought up, or those moments when I realize I'm not doing what I should. Having the humility to let that correction make you better is a powerful experience. There is no feeling quite like humility. It is purifying and hopeful and powerful. But it deserves to be because it is so difficult to achieve. But I add my testimony that it is worth the battle- and it's a constant daily battle to put your pride aside and trust in Heavenly Father's plans. If it is true that He loves us as an infinite, perfect eternal father, then what would we have against trusting Him?
"If we sincerely desire and strive to measure up to the high expectations
of our Heavenly Father, He will ensure that we receive all the help we
need, whether it be comforting, strengthening, or chastening. If we are
open to it, needed correction will come in many forms and from many
sources. It may come in the course of our prayers as God speaks to our
mind and heart through the Holy Ghost (see D&C 8:2).
It may come in the form of prayers that are answered no or differently
than we had expected. Chastening may come as we study the scriptures and
are reminded of deficiencies, disobedience, or simply matters
neglected."
“When in situations of stress we wonder if there is any more in us to give, we can be comforted to know that God, who knows our capacity perfectly, placed us here to succeed. No one was foreordained to fail or to be wicked. When we have been weighed and found wanting, let us remember that we were measured before and we were found equal to our tasks; and, therefore, let us continue, but with a more determined discipleship. When we feel overwhelmed, let us recall the assurance that God will not overprogram us; he will not press upon us more than we can bear."
"Not knowing how to feed the spirit, we try to muffle its demands in distractions. Instead of stilling the center, the axis of the wheel, we add more centrifugal activities to our lives—which tend to throw us [yet more] off balance. "-Sis. Holland
" Is there a way to safety? Is there an escape from threatened destruction? The answer is a resounding yes! I counsel you to look to the lighthouse of the Lord. I have said it before; I will say it again: there is no fog so dense, no night so dark, no gale so strong, no mariner so lost but what the lighthouse of the Lord can rescue. It beckons through the storms of life. It calls, “This way to safety. This way to home.” It sends forth signals of light easily seen and never failing. If followed, those signals will guide you back to your heavenly home." (May 2012 Ensign, Believe, Obey, and Endure, Thomas S. Monson)
Christ gives a true peace- different from the false sense of security that worldly things may claim to bring.
Christ is the comforter, and His peace lasts.
26 But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.
27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
28 Ye have heard how I said unto (New Testament, John, Chapter 14)
"...There is also a dimension of patience which links it to a special
reverence for life. Patience is a willingness, in a sense, to watch the
unfolding purposes of God with a sense of wonder and awe, rather than
pacing up and down within the cell of our circumstance. Put another way,
too much anxious opening of the oven door and the cake falls instead of
rising. So it is with us. If we are always selfishly taking our
temperature to see if we are happy, we will not be.
When we are impatient, we are neither reverential nor reflective because
we are too self-centered. Whereas faith and patience are companions, so
are selfishness and impatience...
...Patience is tied very closely to faith in our Heavenly Father. Actually,
when we are unduly impatient we are suggesting that we know what is
best—better than does God. Or, at least, we are asserting that our
timetable is better than His. Either way we are questioning the reality
of God's omniscience as if, as some seem to believe, God were on some
sort of postdoctoral fellowship and were not quite in charge of
everything..."
For Times of Trouble
-Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, March 1980
"Here your most crucial challenge, once you have recognized the
seriousness of your mistakes, will be to believe that you can change,
that there can be a different you. To disbelieve that is clearly a
satanic device designed to discourage and defeat you. When you get home
tonight, you fall on your knees and thank your Father in Heaven that you
belong to a Church and have grasped a gospel that promises repentance
to those who will pay the price. Repentance is not a foreboding word. It is following faith,
the most encouraging word in the Christian vocabulary. Repentance is
simply the scriptural invitation for growth and improvement and progress
and renewal. You can change! You can be anything you want to be in
righteousness...Only [Satan] would say, “You can’t change. You won’t change. It’s too long
and too hard to change. Give up. Give in. Don’t repent. You are just the
way you are.” That, my friends, is a lie born of desperation. Don’t
fall for it..."
This talk was given at a BYU Devotional on the year anniversary of my brother's passing away. At that day in my life I was currently fence sitting- trying to figure out whether it would be worth it to hold on to the "good days" that were before his death and dwell in the past, or to believe that life could be happy again. That all this hurt and all the questions could be overcome, and that a happy future was a possibility for me.
Well Elder Holland saved the day. This talk was given for me. It has changed my life, and the principles
mentioned are things I need so badly in my life! My childhood was happy, and I loved my family very much. Now, however, my brother was gone just like that- unexpectedly, painfully, and without closure. My parents divorced, my mom left the church and went into a deep depression with no coping skills in hand. My relationship with her was withering away. My other two brothers were out of the state, and I felt alone. I wanted the days that were before his death. I wanted my family back. I saw no end to the immense weight that caring for my mom brought. I could not see how the light and peace could ever come back to my life. I thought there was no way I could ever be as happy again. But Christ is mighty to save.
The atonement doesn't just "stitch up"- it wipes clean. It heals without a scar. It makes what was crimson as white as snow. I now testify along with Elder Holland that it is possible to have a happier future than past. The Lord has magnificent plans for us. We are not forgotten. We can be not just "as happy" but HAPPIER than the day our world was turned upside down by that death, or that accident, or that loss, event, breakdown, breakup, injury, or failure. There is brighter light in the future than we can see from our limited perspective. There is always hope. As long as Christ lives so does hope, healing, peace, assurance, and light.
In this talk Elder Holland tells about Lot's wife from the bible story. Lot and his family were told by the Lord to leave Sodom and Gommorah before it was destroyed, and to not look back. Lot's wife, however, as they were leaving, looked back and turned into a pillar of salt. Elder Holland noticed a huge lesson here that I would never have noticed on my own. It's about learning from the past, but not living in it. He reminds us that faith is always pointed to the future, and that the Atonement makes it possible to move forward, make progress, and overcome. AKA- exactly the message I needed on that difficult anniversary for me. It helped me make a choice. It helped me choose faith. I've listened to it dozens of times when I've felt myself question that choice during hard moments. But when my faith wavers I have the chance to start fresh with a new faith to try again, to hope again, and to heal again.
I'm so grateful for Elder Holland's eloquent words that have helped me face the future with faith.
"I plead with you not to dwell on days now gone, nor to yearn vainly for
yesterdays, however good those yesterdays may have been. The past is to
be learned from but not lived in. We look back to claim the embers from
glowing experiences but not the ashes. And when we have learned what we
need to learn and have brought with us the best that we have
experienced, then we look ahead, we remember that faith is always pointed toward the future. Faith always has to do with blessings and truths and events that will yet
be efficacious in our lives. So a more theological way to talk about
Lot’s wife is to say that she did not have faith. She doubted the Lord’s
ability to give her something better than she already had. Apparently
she thought—fatally, as it turned out—that nothing that lay ahead could
possibly be as good as those moments she was leaving behind."
Sometimes I'll get this empty feeling. I hate it, and it's the worst. It makes life feel like empty, and makes you feel really worried about everything! I hate that feeling because I know it's not true. I know I'm here for a reason, and when I'm thinking straight I know that my life is FULL of wonderful things, people, opportunities, blessings, experiences, love, laughs, challenges, and color. My life is wonderful and I love what I've worked for as well as what's been given to me by a loving Father in Heaven.
I've realized that one explanation for this "empty" feeling may be my soul is hungering for the gospel, for the Holy Ghost, and for peace, fullness, and assurance. Just like our bodies need nourishment, and we feel our stomach's empty and aching for food, wouldn't it make sense that if our spirits-our souls that know God and know where we came from and where we are going-have not been fed and filled with light that our spirits would feel empty and aching? It makes sense to me. The times I feel empty are the times I'm not as closed to the gospel as I should be.
When I have the times that I stay so close to the gospel, and really feast on the scriptures and talks and the songs I notice that I start "craving" it. At these times I think my spiritual appetite grows and I just want more of it! I want more talks, and more scriptures and I really catch the fire of the gospel. This also means that I get "spiritually hungry" faster too though. Like when our bodies grow and we have a bigger appetite it takes more food to fill us up. I think that may be how our spirits work too. Once I've started reading the scriptures regularly then I notice I miss it a lot more a lot faster. If I want to keep the momentum I've gained I have to keep at it! It's like exercise- once you start it regularly you really notice the difference when you stop. On the opposite hand though, it blesses your life more and more as you continue on it and make it a habit in your life! I want it to be this way in my life with the gospel. I want to crave it, and feast on it, and feel it's fullness in my life!
I love the seminary video for the "My Soul Hungered" song- I know it's cheesy, but I love it! Here it is, along with the lyrics. :)
"Oh my soul hungered, the moment I knelt down to pray,
And felt all my doubts wash away.
Oh my soul hungered, He heard my cry.
The voice of the Lord spoke peace to my mind.
Oh my soul hungered- Things that were old became new
When I learned to feel what I already knew.
With all my heart, With all my soul,
I wrestled before the Lord to make my life whole.
He filled my hunger, He fed my soul.
He fed my soul.
The truth that belonged to everyone else
Is now a sacred part of myself.
Oh, I found out what I could not find,
When I heard with my heart
What I knew in my mind.
Oh, my soul hungered."
( Text: Steven K. Jones
Music: Kurt Bestor
Arranged By: Brian Jensen
Artist: David Brooks)
In the gospel of Jesus Christ there is always hope. It is normal in our mortal state to sometimes feel as if we are in the dark. But darkness does not need to overwhelm our lives. The light of Christ is always stronger than any darkness. President Ucthdorf teaches how to stay in the Light of the Lord.
"There
may be some among you who feel darkness encroaching upon you. You may
feel burdened by worry, fear, or doubt. To you and to all of us, I
repeat a wonderful and certain truth: God’s light is real. It is
available to all! It gives life to all things.
It has the power to soften the sting of the deepest wound. It can be a
healing balm for the loneliness and sickness of our souls. In the
furrows of despair, it can plant the seeds of a brighter hope. It can
enlighten the deepest valleys of sorrow. It can illuminate the path
before us and lead us through the darkest night into the promise of a
new dawn." -President Dieter F. Ucthdorf
This talk was inspired, and helps build my faith in Christ as I try to strengthen what I do know, and overcome what I don't. Faith is a never failing source of peace and comfort for me when I can have it strongly. When I begin to doubt, I feel like the man in Pres. Holland's talk and plead that the Lord will help my unbelief!
"These things I declare to you with the conviction Peter called the “more sure word of prophecy.”16
What was once a tiny seed of belief for me has grown into the tree of
life, so if your faith is a little tested in this or any season, I
invite you to lean on mine. I know this work is God’s very truth, and I
know that only at our peril would we allow doubt or devils to sway us
from its path. Hope on. Journey on. Honestly acknowledge your questions
and your concerns, but first and forever fan the flame of your faith,
because all things are possible to them that believe."
-President Jeffrey R. Holland
When I get a bout of feeling sad, weird-ed out, empty, lonely, mad, or any emotion or state of mind that I don't like feeling, I always try to avoid it. I think that if I pretend it's not there or I don't feel it then it will just go away. That doesn't work long term, and I've had to learn that there are other coping strategies that help me accept and process and deal with a negative emotion. I've noticed that one strategy that can help me on one day isn't always as much help another day.
I wanted to have a list of strategies that work for me, so I made list on my Iphone Notebook app. It's always with me, and when I start struggling, I can go through my list and try something to help me calm down. Different things work for different people, but these are some things that work for me.
Breath slower- in your nose for 4 seconds, out your mouth for 4 seconds. Do it for about 2 minutes.
Think slower.
Name the feeling
Ride the wave- let yourself feel feelings, and remember that they won't last forever. Feelings are to learn from, let yourself feel and learn.
Go easy on yourself. Cut yourself some slack.
Trust that Heavenly Father loves you, and give the control of the situation to Him. Trust that if you are doing what is right in your life then He will take care of you- Believe He can bring miracles into your life.
ABC&E write-out. A means "Activating event", B means "belief"/what you think now because of this situation, C means "consequential emotions", E means "evidence"/what does real evidence and experience show you about your beliefs? Are they supported? Or proven to be false worried? It helps you accept your emotions, process them, and then notice how strongly you are feeling those emotions, and how real or unreal those worries are.
For example: A-I saw someone holding a baby and it made me really nervous about having a baby. B- I won't be a very good mom, I may be really scared while having kids, C- scared/ 7, desperate/5, hopeless/6, sad/4, disappointed/6, (rate on a scale of 1-10, 10 being very strong, 1 being not at all) E- I love being around kids, I am good with kids, everyone tells me I'll be a good mom, I know I'll have help from my husband. There is not proof that I will be a terrible mom- that's just a worry that is not supported by any evidence.
Safe place- imagine yourself at a place that is safe and happy for you. Imagine the sounds, sights, smells, and feel of that place.
Leaves on a stream exercise- Imagine you are by a stream, and the worries on your mind are leaves that you are imagining flowing down the stream. Let them go. Let them go down the stream, and worry about and solve them at a later time. It helps for me to picture Christ picking up those leaves down the stream and holding on to them for me, and solving them for me. Christ can help me carry the burdens on those leaves. He takes care of them, because He has also felt them and overcome them.
Make a list of things you are grateful for.
Make a list of things that are going well, that are positive, or little victories that you've had. Hold onto and treasure those victories. They can carry you through times that don't feel so "positive", and help you to remember there IS positive and victories out there for you.
Watch a funny video on Youtube
Talk to my husband. Or talk to my friend Katrina, Emilie, Sylvia, Heather, Lisa, Cheryl, Robin, Michelle, Kyle, or Staisha.
Read a scripture. I have my favorite comforting scriptures highlighted in my gospel library app so I can access them quickly.
Read or listen to a talk by a prophet, apostle, or BYU devotional
Say a prayer out loud
Listen to music
Get a drink of cold water
Write down what I'm feeling or what's bothering me. Get it out on paper instead of letting it stew in my head.
Hold on. Sometimes you just have to hold on until hard times pass. Just hold on, wait it out.
Play Tennis
Remember "Life will go on, you just get to choose how you're going to live it."
Search out the Light of Christ- through prayer, scriptures, nature, etc. There is no emptiness from God. He is fullness.
Remember to live your life based upon faith, hope, charity, and humility.
Lay in the sunshine at the pool
Pilates or Yoga.
Think about what you can and cannot control. Make a plan about what you can, and dismiss what you cannot. Here is a list from a counselor of things that we can or cannot control.
CANNOT control
What someone else is thinking
How nervous I get
What other people value and care about
Worries I have from time to time
How others respond to my choices, expressed thoughts, feelings, and actions
The choices others make
How often the same thoughts or images come back into my mind
Other people following rules or standards
What other people do
Other people liking me
What I feel at any point
The thoughts I have from time to time
CAN control
The choices I make
How I respond to other people
What I say and do in a situation
The direction I want my life to take
How I behave with respect to other people
What I do when I get anxious
How I respond to my thoughts and feelings (positive or negative)
Whether I follow through with commitments
Whether I follow certain rules or standards
If I prepare for tasks and do my best
What I do with my precious time on this earth
My values and what I care about
Turn around your thinking pattern. Change it from a negative perspective to a more positive one.
